How I crave to be able to surrender all my worries. Just let them be and go on with the flow of my life.
I am actually self-conscious of what I write on my blog. A few days ago I typed something up, thought it was incredibly stupid, deleted it and continued this process for about two hours until I finally gave up and deleted everything.
Why is that? Why the hell am I scared of what people will think when they read this? It is my blog after all. I can choose to write whatever the hell I want. It should be freeing, not constricting! Yet, for so long I have feared rejection. Now, I'm slowly trying to diminish this fear. Why do we live our lives in fear of not being accepted? Or why do I live mine like that? It's ridiculous. We have one life to live, might as well live it.
So many fears, so much stress. and I'm bothered about everything I write. It's so odd. Normally I really enjoy typing blogs but currently I think every word I write is incredibly stupid and useless. I guess I keep wondering if the things I write about will actually interest people. It's a silly wonder because people do want to read my blog.
I'm just crazy. Seriously. My mind is always somewhere else, I cannot focus properly. The sad thing is, I think I speak for a lot of people when I say this. I believe so many peoples focus is f-ed now by how much we do at once. There is never just ONE thing we're doing at once and it bothers me so so so much. I think that's why I'm despising all this multi-faceted technology. I'm in Communications Studies yet I refuse to give into all the new technology- or at least like it. I know it's unavoidable but the way I'm seeing how society is all working out is scaring the shit out of me. There is no fine line between work and leisure anymore. Your e-mails are at your hand at any moment of the day. Everyone is either listening to their ipod, texting, or talking to someone on their phone. You see someone talking loudly and you see no cell phone and laugh because they look crazy only to see they have a bluetooth. Where is the social interaction? Where are all the possible conversations these people could be having? It's so scary! I obviously am guilty of this- I check my e-mails/facebook while my friends are over because of how habitual it has become. That, my friends, disgusts me beyond belief. I have an addiction to the internet. This internet addiction is something I would love to surrender. It won't happen but I need certain steps to live a life that doesn't revolve around my e-mails and facebook. So, my dear friends, tell me your advice.
How do you finally get around to turning off the computer and turning on your mind?
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Leaving the room works well! Turn off the computer and go study in another room or go to the library. The problem is that there are computers at the library and we will just want to check things on those computers too! :S The computers at the library I usually go to are very annoying (not windows or mac- something else), so I remind myself how they bother me something fierce. It's more a matter of telling yourself that stuff.
ReplyDeleteOr tell yourself that you will be disappointed when you check your facebook, etc because no one cares about you enough to comment or whatever. (Whether it's true or not).
Orrr think about "saving" up notifications. If you check things once or twice a day, then it'll seem like more and you'll feel better because you waited.
Just my ideas- it's mostly about tricking yourself, in my mind. Good Luck!
Plus, we love YOU- the crazy girl. So when writing- don't "censor" yourself. Don't think a whole lot about what you're writing. You know what they say for writing- think of your audience. Who is your audience? Friends and family, right? Write for them! Write as you talk to them! (Although remember that what goes on the internet stays on the internet- even if you change things) Just a few things to think about!
Good Luck!
i thought you had already rid yourself of that demon which is facebook! :O oh well, i still love you my genshine, crazy and all <3
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