Brain adventure

Oh heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, friends.

I'm just going to skip past the whole - I suck at keeping a blog, it's been a year, blah blah blah - thing and tell you all what's going down in my medulla oblongata. Cool? Cool! Gen brain adventures!

SO. Just read this very interesting article about how women are slowly but surely going about ruling the world and dudes... are failing. Slightly. Which also means that there is this huge restructuring of how dating occurs in the world now. Depressing? Maybe. Will I become a cat/dog/various animal woman? Probably. BUT, I am not worried. Why? Cause I am freaking awesome! and I am good at bribery. All jokes aside, I know I will find someone to share the ups/downs/in-betweens with and I am in no rush to do so. Maybe I will have to lower my slightly high standards (Read my friend Karen's hilarious blog post of screening processes) and maybe end up marrying someone who is shorter than me or who only enjoys cheap beer.

As long as he makes me happy we have insightful conversations about life/faith/music/funny youtube videos and he's down for adventures, bike rides, improv rapping, computer chair dancing, and rolling down hills then hells yes. We are good to go.

How I spend my afternoons

For some of you wondering about the scratched out part it's because I have learned (and am still in the process of learning) that the only person that you can depend on for happiness is yourself... and maybe the pizza guy who gives you the perfect cheesy slice without you asking. Seriously though. YOU. In case you haven't realized, those love songs LIE. Yeah, it's nice to share a relationship with someone but if you depend solely on them and their behavior for happiness then you're screwed. There have been many a time when I have envisioned a lovely evening with a boy and then they can't come over/they're tired/they've been captured by zombies and then my evening is ruined. I end up wallowing in self pity and watching Modern Family.

And you know what? That's okay. It's all a part of the learning process because after the 300th time of this happening to me I thought "Hey, f- this. It's my evening, I'm going to do what I want to do." So, I have sushi with a friend, or I drink a glass of wine and watch an incredibly cheesy movie that no one else would even think of watching or I lie in my bed and listen to music. After a few times of this re-thinking the evening, I found myself enjoying this solo time and realizing that I need to cherish this because at some point, I will be sharing a lot of things, including a bed. Which is why when I had my queen bed in Toronto I pretty much did bed angels in the middle of it.

It's interesting to see how so obsessed society is with not being alone. I remember an article I read of this woman who enjoyed eating by herself and how so many waiters were miffed or how she would receive looks of pity. Even I felt that way when seeing people eating alone. I recall wanting to almost go over there and give them a hug because I thought they were lonely people. This stigma of being alone is odd and it's important to come to terms with how lovely alone time can be. You dig?

Excellent.

Now tell me what you think about this post and the article. I wanna have some glimpses into your brain too!

Peace :)

(untitled)

That's always what the tab shows when it's empty and sometimes i like it when things are untitled, there's more freedom to do what you want with that poem, song, art piece, whatever.

it's untitled. :)

Since the last post I went on a wonderful trip for a week and re-connected with friends, made new ones, fell in love with Ontario more and more after every beach, every fruit/veggie stand, and every ray of sun on my skin. Sometimes I couldn't believe I was living in this gorgeous country. I have to say, after hearing "California girls" numerous times I believe California is totally overrated and Ontario is underrated. Agree? I knew you would.

After that I've just been sorting things out within and writing every worry and negative thought out on a piece of paper is incredibly therapeutic. I've been a lot more positive since, thus my optimism is kicking my pessimism's ass!

One new change that shall be coming my way is the amount of breeze felt upon my neck. I've been toying with the idea of shaving my head all summer and then I FINALLY visited the Canadian Cancer Society this past week and spoke to someone about raising money for shaving my head and it's underway. I raised over $200 in TWO DAYS! I am blown away from the support. My goal is $500 by August 25th.

Sometimes I forget about the shaving and all of a sudden I remember and start worrying in a highly superficial manner. "What if I look incredibly ugly?" "Will I look nice in a summer dress?" "What if people think I'm a lesbian and no boys like me?" and then I remember...

all of these things are petty, petty things. First off, there are so many ladies who shave their head because they have to. They have no choice, they didn't decide to have a disease that attacks their cells. Here I am with an amazing life, good health, nice hair and really no reason to complain. Looking at myself in the mirror will be a constant reminder of how lucky I truly am.

Secondly, why should I care what people think? It's my life, my decision. If people are so shallow that they judge me completely just by first glimpse, they are not needed in my life. I want to break these stereotypes of what it means to be beautiful. I am also very curious to see how many people assume I like girls just because of my hair style.

You could say this is a social experiment.

As mentioned above, feelings of anxiety and fear rear their ugly heads sometimes but so does excitement and a positive impatience of getting it done. Just the usual set of feelings one gets when feeling a change in the wind.

Another change in the wind is this upcoming year being my last at my wonderful York. My last amazing frosh week, my last york timetable and many more "lasts at York" which currently is frightening and sad to me. My heart and mind have grown so much since I first arrived there 3 years ago and now I'll have to say goodbye. Most people are excited to end yet I find the idea of leaving depressing. I have no idea what the future holds (no one does) but that scary dark abyss of non-university life awaits and I haven't even sharpened my sword or sewed the rips within my armour. It's not a battle or a war but it's life and it can be as crazy as a raging dragon.

Deep breath.

Phew.

After a few of those I regain consciousness and realize that things always work out even if it doesn't seem that way at first.



(p.s. that doodle is from andre jordan. Check out his other doodles, they are happy, they are sad, they are honest.)

So my question for you today is... what do you take for granted everyday that you don't really think of unless you stop and think about it. (stop and think... then type it right under here.)

I would have to say it's the everyday habits of love in my house. Whenever I leave, get up in the morning, or if I just plain feel like it cheek kisses and hugs are there if needed. HUGS ARE A MUST PEOPLE. The world needs hugs and if ever you are in need of one, know I am here.

Have a happy week :)

the sun on my face, my head in clouds

time on my side, my feet off the ground.



These Our Lady Peace lyrics definitely describe my summer. The days are wonderful, filled with life, sun, and smiles. On days when I sleep little and pass through days in a state of lethargy I feel like this entire summer is all a dream but that's alright with me.

Here are some photos from the past few weeks... just in case you're wondering what is up in the life of Gen.








Family, friends, music, nature, and food. What more could a girl need?

always think we get more time

I keep forgetting that I have a blog...

a little update from moi:

I am back home - homemade food, sister cuddles and love, catching up with high school friends - what's not to love?

Megan told me today how she saw a future me ... she described this lady with a 2 year old and a baby strapped to the front with one of those cloth carriers being super patient and speaking to her kids in a soft voice. She also had a shortish, funky hairstyle along with glasses...

... when she told me this I got ridiculously excited because that's definitely where I want to be a few years from now so I'm all excited about babies, oh dear.

The summer job at the conservation authority is very hippie certified which makes me happy. I was able to plant trees, learn how to successfully back a boat into the river while driving a mofo huge pick up (i want one), go to a conference learning about water quality and invasive species, and return back to planting trees. At the conference there was one student who was doing a presentation on his thesis and while he spoke of what he was learning it made me realize that I found that scholarliness (new word!) quite attractive (him doing his masters and presenting what he learned). It also inspired me to think about MAYBE doing a masters. MAYBE. That's the great thing about summers- you have time to actually reflect, lie in the grass, stare at the sky and think about life.



Getting back to nature is a beautiful thing. Handling the little roots and placing them gently in the soil along with seeing the little wormies is a nice reminder of what's beneath the concrete we all walk upon. It also reinforces the idea of how fragile life is and what a miracle all of this world is.

That's all on the mind of me today.

Hope you all have a lovely week!

Get Cultured

Hello my lovely friends!

This week is Multicultural Week which is one of the biggest reasons why I love York and its location. Being so very close to Toronto ensures that a lovely variety of cultures will mix together to create awesomeness and this week celebrates that awesomeness so what's not to love?

Today was the food fair and I wish I could've brought more money to spend because everything looked amazing! It was also the DJ World Cup at the same time and this entire event is done at the club on campus. So everythings rrrreeeaalll close together so in someway its annoying, but in another really cool because when the DJ plays something that everyone likes, then theres a whole ton of dancing and flag waving and it's just... wonderful. There are so many clubs represented at this event, it's insane. The times when national anthems are played and everyone goes crazy is even better. It's like the entire happy world is in one little spot and the aromas and colours just dazzle you.

I just really enjoy this because a piece of someone's culture is shared and you get to experience something incredibly different than the day to day foods and customs although even in the maison franglais house I'm proud to say we have a nice little cultural flair in terms of food. Curry is always a popular dish and I realized that my family and I eat many Asian dishes. I never realized how influenced I was by the food I ate at home until I ended up buying the basics of soya sauce, ginger, hoisin sauce, and sesame oil.

Thursday is the day of stage performances which makes me very happy because I love love lovvveee seeing the different dances and costumes.

Hope you all have a great week! :)

Love

ch-ch-change

i have now continued my blog but through a different site. I will always have a place in my heart for my blogspot blog.

http://everydayraysofsoleil.tumblr.com/

heartburn

Knee deep in the rising rushing waters but the tide will soon fall...





*This poem was inspired by the artworks by Mona Hatoum and it was derived from a few experiences I have had with houses that left me feeling cold, empty, and longing for the warmth of my home.

Not home (A Poem)

How is it a home
When all the pictures are prints seen on the home renovation channel
(Renovate your personality?)
Chairs and table made in China, made to never support your weight (mental or physical)
Pay nothing until 2012
Care for nothing until forever
Square plates,
So straight, too straight
They’re oh so chic,
Everyone will love them
Just like that new perfume
Of sickly sweet chemicals
That waft through the house
Eau de fake
High on the idea of home when
You know
You know it’s all just sharp edges,
corners
and plaster.
Don’t put posters up, it’ll ruin the paint
Don’t express yourself
It’ll ruin our image
Pretend to be perfect
Your room is anyway.
Take a tour of the house(jail)!
Stainless steel
Sterile, BLEACH
Bleach brightens our walls, our floors, and
our smiles
Disgustingly perfect white
Don’t move, don’t touch
Don’t
Breathe.
Air conditioning
F r i g i d
Causes the heart to shrink
Embrace the technology
Choke in its grasps
Headphones to wrap around
Never mind warm arms
Family portraits
Grin or you’re grounded
Were we ever a family?
Microwave dinners (ovens are the latest decoration)
Television on the table,
In each room
Blank stares, silent meals
Talking not permitted
Screaming with a mouth closed
Living rooms aren’t meant for living
Closed doors, closed hearts, minds
Love never existed here.
Mourning
This house is not a home.